Dead beat dads/ Sperm donors – experiences?

What exactly is the definition of a dead beat dad? In my eyes its someone like my 6 month old sons dad.

I had a whirlwind romance, Fell for Oliver’s dad pretty quick. Fell pregnant after 6 weeks of being together and although it was a shock, we both decided to keep the baby from the get go.  All the way through the pregnancy he was going to be the doting dad, Although he wanted a girl, when we found out we were having a little boy, he took it in his stride. Telling everyone that he couldn’t wait to me his gorgeous little boy.

So where did it go wrong?
I went into labour on the 17-10-2013 and landed at the hospital at about 3pm, the midwife didn’t seem to think i was in labour when i called up at first but my main reason for calling was i went to the toilet and was gushing with blood. ( As you can imagine was a little bit scary) Come 7:30pm my little boy was dilated to 7cm but didn’t budge past 8 cm, His heart beat was dropping and i had lost a fair but of blood so at 3:40am on the 18-10-2013 my baby boy Oliver James Michael Patterson was born.
Once i had Oliver everything seemed fine, i got kept in for a few days but Oliver’s dad  would visit everyday and message me. I’d been told he’d been out to wet the babies head and seemed like the most doting dad ever that couldn’t wait to get his fiancée and baby boy home. How wrong!
I got out the hospital at dinner time on the 20-10-2013 and 2 days afterwards, when our son was 4 days old he walked out on us both. Told me he didn’t love me any more, No talking it through, he just left.

At first he said he still wanted to see our son and for 4 weeks he would visit once a week for 2-3 hours maximum. Then the contact seemed to stop for about 8 weeks until he decided he wanted to see Oliver again. Needless to say that didn’t last and the last time he properly saw his son was on the 22-01-2014. He came through on the 09-02-2014 to talk about maintenance as he hadn’t paid a penny up until this point but i threatened him with CSA as he’s on the birth certificate and then he confessed he would didn’t want to see Oliver as (and i quote what he said); ‘being a dad just isn’t for me’. 

Which has gets me to the point, Is there any way i can stop Oliver’s dad from walking in and out of his life when he’s older? He doesn’t want to see his son and that’s fine by me ( Took me a long time to accept it but my baby is better off without his dead beat dad) I would do anything to protect my little boy. He’s my life.
His dad is that much of a scum that he said he would happily sign any agreement saying he doesn’t want contact with Oliver.  When Oliver’s 16 he said its up to him to find him then if he wants. Is there such a thing i could do for tom to sign? 

Would love to hear about other peoples experiences.

Much love T_patt-x


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