whats floating on my mind

Just been a stressful four years with no breaks for me. From being cheated on to being homeless. I got a lot on my mind and finally gave in and wanted to write about some of it. I do have my ups and downs due to my depression. Who doesnt with depression. I have been not to write about it on facebook and was judge on there by people. But its my page and i can write what i want. If people dont like it. They could hide what i am saying so they dont see it. Even my own family judges me. Still try me what not to say and such. I have no local friends and tried to make some where live and only made two really but i havent seen them in like two years. My very best friend lives in california and had a blast with him. Like going to the movies and such. I miss hanging with him. Trying to get my life in order and some how. Something messes it up. Its hard to get around in this town. No bus system really. Just some two bit small bus company that come to your door and take you where you wanna go and pick you up at a certain time. But they stop at 4pm and dont run on the weekends. Plus you gotta call two days in adavance if you need to go somewhere. I have a phobia of driving since i was in a really bad car accident. Its sometimes for me to walk. I was suicidal in my life before. But the thought has come into my mind once in a while. I wanna move to orlando one day. I know ill have a better chance there to start a new life. Get back into really being happy again. Cause like i said before. I did write what was on my mind before and had a lot of bad opinions in my comments and it didnt help at all. But hopefully ill write more instead of having it bottled up.

4 thoughts on “whats floating on my mind”

  1. Hey, just read your post.. Just know your not alone! Depression is hard to understand sometimes unless your the one who is dealing with it. I’ve been dealing with it for years. I’ve had to remind myself that those who don’t understand me, just honestly dont wanna hear what I have to say. Good or bad. I see that you dont have many friends, I would love to have a day of peace and quiet.:) I have company over all the time, and yet I feel alone, and overwhelmed. Like they just come to use me up and leave me with the mess. It gets old and tired very fast. I never get a break, stress on a daily is what I deal with. They take my kindness and make me feel weak. I can tell them I’m not up to company and have lots of things to get done and have a house full by dinner time. I know they dont mean any harm and just wanna hang out, watch tv, eat ect but it does get old when all I want is a day to myself.
    I too have a phobia of being in a car due to a bad wreck. I am fine if I am the one driving but if someone else is behind the wheel, I am a nervous wreck. Have been made fun of for it but it is what it is. I do not like to travel the highway no matter who is driving. I would rather take the back roads and enjoy the view. 🙂
    I am fairly new to this site, write whats on your mind. No one has to know who you are, and it will help you to get it out which is what I am using this site for.

    Have a Good Day, and ps. my name is Daisy its nice to meet ya! 🙂

  2. ps. I call facebook.. FAKEBOOK
    cause most ppl on their are fake, and only want to be your friend to judge and/or be in your business. A true friend does not judge a person for the way they are feeling, they try to help in what ever way they can. I had to almost completely stop using facebook for that reason, got tired of ppl telling me I should not post what was on my mind. Sometimes I would be asking for advise and get phone calls telling me I should take the post down. Why take it down, cause you want me to pretend that everything is fine and dandy when I am the one who’s on the verge of going crazy. Are we as humans not suppose to reach out for help when needed, yet judged when we do? anyway my point was facebook is for those who wanna say they know you yet dont care for you when the going gets tough. ( most of the time, my opinion) 🙂

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