Am I just one of her options?

About two moths ago I started hooking up with this girl, just something casual to get away from studies.. That was all until feelings got involved, silly old me. I told her as soon as possible, just in case she already had something going on with someone else, but she didn’t say anything, she only said something like ‘oh I already knew you liked me’..

About a week went by before she came into my room, she looked really scared! I didn’t know why though, nothing had gone wring or nothing had gone bad. It was just a normal day. She came in to tell me that she had been talking to someone for a couple of years.. And that he was basically her boyfriend. What should I have done? Just left her? Even though we had nothing ‘official’ going on? … I asked her ‘Okay so what do you want to do now? No hooking up? Just that’s it? Because he was here before I was’ she said nothing, just gave me the indication that we should keep doing what we were doing..

Here I am now two months later and I have been through hell and back, even though it was a beautiful hell. I don’t even know where I am going from here but I don’t know what to do.. She says she loves me and not him? Well she says that she would rather be with me that him. It hurts you know. Loving someone with your all but knowing that you only have a half of them.

I accidentally went onto her Skype before, she doesn’t know thing which makes me feel a bit bad but I didn’t think she would still be logged in. She had been talking to him more sexual that she talks to me! How should I feel about that? Should I tell her that I read her messages or should I just keep it to myself and see what else she says to him.

She hasn’t even met him yet. They talk online and I don’t know about you but I am not really a strong believer in online relationships. Please don’t judge me, its just my point of view.

She is next to me right now, trying to have a sleep. Finals coming up and she is studying to be a Doctor.

Thank you for reading this, there will probably be a million more journals about this, but I hope you bare with me and I hope you have something to say back! Feel free to say anything, something..

Yours truly, me.

One thought on “Am I just one of her options?”

  1. Leave her. Find someone who appreciates you for all that you are, and wants no one else. Feel free to read my journal. As someone who has had an online relationship and met the guy and just both moved separate ways before we could live together and actually be together…. They will embed their prescense into each others minds…. She will always want him. She is just using you for the physical level of the relationship that she is not getting from him. She will leave you when she can be with him.

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