Welcome summer

Summer holidays are finally here. I’ve finished my last exam two days ago and now I’m free to actually do whatever I want. I have great plans for this summer. I’m gonna get the most out of it just because I realized that I can. And if you have the chance to do something my motto is just go for it.
I’m almost sixteen and for the last 9 years I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted. You may thing you were six then, so what is there for a six year old kid to do out there? But I had the world in front of me and I was doing absolutely nothing for it. I’ve lost so many chances because of others.
I was the kind of kid that was fearless and strong, confident and powerful. But some people -I don’t know how- managed to steal all this power from me and use it against me. It took me 9 yerars to realize it, but it’s never too late. You can always take control and change averything.
People were always jealous of me. The ones closer to my heart were the ones that were my worst enemies. They tried to make me feel small and be pathetic. But deep inside I knew that what they were trying to convince me I was, I wasn’t. They were. They couldn’t get better so instead of trying harder they tried to get me to their low level.
The last years were a living hell for me. I was a shy kid, always hiding behing of others thinking it was the best thing I could do to keep my friends. How wrong and silly I was back then. I was living their pathetic lifes because they could not live the way they thought I was living.
Those frenemies thought that always I had better things to do, I had more friends than they did. They were a bunch of immature girls and still are. I was bullied for 9 years, what they didn’t know was that I knew they were bullying me with their invisible way.
My closest friends were my mother and my diary, always there for me and able to understand me and give me a refuge. Writing was my way of getting away from everything. I was struggling to fit in hiding my real self. But that was just wrong, that’s what my mum told me.
Now that I look back I see that maybe I was living a hard life, but all those challenges made me who I am today. And I am so proud to be me. I fought so hard to become that person, but it was totally worth it.
Before I knew those bitches I had only boy-friends and I was really happy. Then they came into my life and I kinda got lost with my boys, because they were afraid that I didnt have enough love for all. So they made me take a wrong desicion.My boys never learned what happened and never will, so they still like those girls. I don’t want them to know.
I just had to speak for myself and take a huge step to get away from them. So I took a deep breath and just did what I had to do. And believe me it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.
Last summer I travelled alone to Scotland for 3 weeks at a summerschool, without telling my friends. I went completely alone and made great true friends and got amazing experiences. The reason I took that trip was that after 9 wears of secure friendship I decided to move schools. So I needed to do something to boost my confidence and help me realize that I had to live.
After that trip I was reasdy to start my completely new life and finally be who I wanted to be. Going to a new school at the age of 15 was a risk, but I was ready for it. I’ve been waiting for so long to do that. I was determined to succed and surprisingly I did.I met so many new people and made the greatest friends I could ever imagine.
I’ve even managed to come again close with my beloved boys that I’ve lost the actual contact for a long time. One of the best bits of that change was that I finally managed to get to know and come close with the boys I always admired.Fearless, living their lives at the full, crazy and most of all human.
They showed me an instant love that I appreciate more than anything. They made me a part of their family. They make me feel special and precious, they protect me like their little sister. They tease me and make me feel accepted. Our friendship might seem a bit odd as they are way older than me, so people judje.
But I don’t care anymore. People can say whatever they want. They can judje freely because that is me and I won’t change for anyone. I like my new life and I am very thankful to have it.
I still have my bad days, but I don’t let them affect my life anymore cause I realized it’s not worth it. I still get hurt and betrayed by people, but they are the big loosers. Because I don’t let anyone who’s not worth it in my life. I just wave goodbye and wish them good luck with their pathetic little lives.
I can’t hate the girls or all those who decided to hurt me.But I also cant forgive them. It was their choice to play with me and I really understand that they just couldn’t cope with the way I was. I am just too much for them.
I have the best friends I could wish for, I have an amazing life and I have a whole summer in front of me. Life is now. I can’t wait for the long days at the beach playing games and reading books. I can’t wait for the endless nights watching the stars with my friends until the sun comes up.
Welcome summer!

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