Daddy Issues

So my dad goes in for surgery tomorrow, how I’m supposed to feel about this I haven’t yet figured out. He’s in prison, been there most of my life. Even when he wasn’t there he was out with some other woman instead of with his kids that he promised to come home too. So should I really care? I don’t know if I do, part of me wants him to be okay I guess,  the other part kinda just wishes he would die. I know that sounds horrible, but if you knew this man you would understand. When I was younger I could somewhat get over the fact that he was in jail, it was something then that he did to himself. He came home for about a year and a half, of course not to his family, but to some woman he married the week he was home. When he went back, it wasn’t for something he did to himself, it was to someone else. No he didn’t kill anyone, but he came severely close. I just don’t know if I can get over the fact that he could hurt someone that way. How am I supposed to feel about it? Of course I love my father, but I don’t  like him. I just don’t really know what to do, what to say, if I should be worried. I think what scares me the most, is the fact that I don’t really feel anything when it comes to him. Anyways, have a good night everyone.

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