When i’m upset ?
i Shut myself down , i have no motivation for anything . I think about all the negative things , i can possibly think of . I give myself all the pain thinking i deserve it , i’m not pretty sure why i do that , but that’s just how i am because i don’t want to keep my anger inside and it builds up & it burst -.- things happen like that all the time & i really don’t understand why , i’m always fighting a battle of stress or depression ALL THE DAMN TIME , seems like nothing matters too me anymore -.- Sense 5 years ago nothing’s been the same , my mom left she died , everything hurts me so bad , that’s all i constantly think about , it never GOES away i wish it did . I haven’t had an real smile or laugh for 2 whole months i always fake one , too make it seem like it’s all okay & i have an perfect life fulled with flowers & butterflies , but behind that smile is reckless & depression , sleepless night tears everyday & worries , nightmares everything ! ugh . But i wish everything would hurry & go away soon & fast! Nothing matters anymore , people gave up on me & nobody’s by my side but it’s ard . I Hope i can have an real smile & laugh soon, i hate being worried & depressed .