so far

my names Nikki Pennett, and ive had a crazy life for my age, which is unnessesary to say considering i do not know the person reading this. But anyways, the craziness began around the age of 5. I was just a little girl at the time so id didnt understand nor care what was going on. So i went on in life not giving a fuck like a normal 5 yr old. But in reality,while i was playing with my dolls in my room, my mom was doing cocain in my bathroom while my dad was away on a “business trip” as he usually is. Of course she had gotten caught after like the eigth time shed done it. but after she got out of the cocaine stage , she got into drinking , alot. Youd think that if theyre drunk all the time theyd be more chill and fun , and would let me do whatever, but no.  When she got drunk she turned into something youd hate to see. especially when she was with my dad. They couldnt be around eachother for 10 minutes with out fighting up until around the age of 9, which is when they got to the point where they were fucking anymore or atleast not enough to please each other cause for some reason my mom felt the need to go out and buy a secret phone or go out and stay out until 3am &  id have to let her in through my window cause my dad would have locked her out. so the years went on and i grew older & got  tired of their drinking and fighting bs. soon enough 6th grade rolled around and made new friends and chilled with a different crowd  , by the middle of my 6th grade year i was smoking weed and drink every weekend with older kids . Then i fucked up. Me, my friend katie, emily, brandon, lunden, and jada all went to katies one night and decided we were gonna stay out all night so we went on a walk and before i knew it we were almost by this house that my friends stayed the night in the past weekend, so katie suggested we went there and of course we were all like hell yeahh! and began walking towards the house. Once we arrived we sent brandon and lunden to go in a window and let us in the back door. once we got in there wasntmuch turning back so we looked around the house and found a absoulutly fucking huge cabinet filled with alchohol and a dozen plastic cups . So whatd we do? Played liqour pong & then spin the bottle and then we smoked and just chilled and vandalized the house then we all passed out in different rooms. The next day came and we ordered pizza with all the money we found in the house , & we were going to go swimming until the niehbors seen us all there and walked in the front door and threatened to call the cops so we all ran as fast as we could not realizing we all left our school bookbags and wrote our names places so we got caught later when we got home the cops were waiting for all of us in our drive way waiting to hand cuff us  and take us away for breaking into a POLICE OFFICERS HOUSE. I was told it was abondoned , guess not. but anyways we got there and my mom was crying and everyone was yelling, and fighting then in between all of that me Brandon, jada, lunden, katie and emily all looked at eachother and agreed it was totally worth it . Long story short , that was when i gained my reputation . I was grounded fora bout 1 month , then i got my shit together for about a year. Until i started going out more and partying more, and doing reckless shit , then that summer came and i stayed out every night drinking and smoking with people from the ages 16 and up, nobody cared about i old i was . All that mattered was how old i look and if i could take the dick or nah. Then i went out one night with my friend kia well ex friend, and lost my virginity to some guy i barley knew, i hated every bit of it , it was gross drunken sloppy sex. Point blank. a couple weeks later i went to another party and met up with this guy not saying names but he was supposed to be my ride home untill he asked me to comeover for a little bit and of course with ol’ boose brain over here i said yes without think and when we got there, we went to his room and wewere talking untill he got on top of me i asked ” what are you doing”and he didnt reply and began kissing my neck . i was okay with making out for a little bit but then he put his hands down my pants and i tried to stop him, i grabbed his hand and toldhim no but when i grabbed his hand , he grabbed mine and slammed it down above myhead along with the other one he was holding me downso hard ihad bruises then he took off my pants and did what he please not caring about i how i felt , and then when he finished i got up grabbed my clothes and ran out the door. But i needed a ride home, so i called my sister and she came to get me. & all i remember is laying there that night  thinking about how i hated sex and id never wanna do it again. after a couple months i stopped caring completely did what i want when i wanted had more sex expiences that were great & changed my thoughts. to this day i do what the fuck i want .

One thought on “so far”

  1. The only thing could helps you in you’re life, it’s PRAY, and try to be good with the peoples around you, for they may helps you, maybe not today, or tomorrow, and after a years..or..or..or.. whatever but some day 🙂

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