I finally did it. I’ve made up my descision and had to do it. It was the best I could do for both of us. For me cause I couldn’t keep up with it anymore and I felt like I was being trapped and for him cause I was lying to him and he was living an illusion. Even though it was hard I took a deep breath and send the damned message to him. I didn’t want to hurt him. He didn’t do anything wrong and it would be very bitchy breaking his heart for no reason.
The day before he was asking me how I was feeling about our relationship and where I thought it was going. I said I really didn’t know and I wasn’t sure how long it would last. I’ve been thinking a lot how to break out the news to him and I did it via facebook which is not the better way but I just wanterd it to end as soon and as painless as possible.
What I said to him was: “basically I thought again about what you asked me yesterday about how I see our relationship..what we had was very nice and I don’t regret anything..just after I left from there I started feeling that it wasn’t woking that much..Ithink it’s better to end it here and both of us move on..” His answer was just: “….”
So, well I guess that was it. I feel so relieved that I did it and I am completely free again and I don’t have anything to hold me back. I’ve changed a lot and I’m about to change even more and I won’t let anything or anyone stand in my way again. I fought hard to become that person I am today and if there’s a thing I’ve learned through my journey is that life goes on and if you fall you have to stand up and catch up with it.