Down The Hall….

I loved you once with all my heart.  I might not of said the words or felt freely to show you my love but it was there.  I kept waiting for my love to change you.  Like a light switch but it never happened.  What a coward I was everything time you asked me my feelings I wouldn’t tell you the truth “my truth”.  Instead I told the truth I felt you wanted to hear.  I not only lied to you but I was lying to myself.  For almost 14 years I lived that lie.  I made life changing decision that wasn’t in the best interest of myself but for you instead.  Now 10 years later after I freed myself  from your gravity pull. I thought I had escaped from a life that had you as a major player.  But strange turn of events put you not only in my life, under the same roof, but down the hall from my bedroom.  It has been this way for over 2 years and we are still working on bounds and making things work.  Still having the bump in the road.  But I have let the past go.  Sometimes it can rear its ugly head but for the most it is behind us.  I know need to learn to forgive myself for my past.

Incase I don’t say it to your face, “I love you”  it shouldn’t matter if it is the love I had years ago or the love I have these days for you.  The important thing you should know is you are and were loved by me.

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