Went to work as usual. I was bored to cook. Didn’t feel like eating at all (for the rest of my life) But I knew I would get hungry by noon so I cooked anyway.
As soon as I got to office I had some cereal for my breakfast. I hate Tuesdays cause it’s the day I get most orders and I have to type nonstop for hours and hours it’s exhausting. I plugged my headset in and started typing. Trying to keep my head on what I’m typing without letting it run all over the world.
There were times I almost burst out in tears because of the songs I was listening to cause these songs are connected to my life in one way or another and it mad me desperately sad it brought up tears to my eyes. So sometimes I skipped the song just because I DON’T wanna cry at my workstation thinking about my amazingly miserable life.
On my way back to my room I continued reading the book ‘the fault in our stars’ by John Green. Absolutely and completely in love with the book. I mean the story. Can’t wait to watch the movie. It’s on theater now but I don’t wanna go alone to watch it even though I wanna watch it so bad. Also I’m broke as fuck. I have only 10 dhs. blegh…. FML!
A girl who used to work before me joined us from the metro station. She came to our room. All my roommates were excited and happy to see her. They hugged and laughed and talked I have no idea about what cause they talked in their language. I was the only person who is from not their county. So I was always like left out of whatever they say or do.
I was hoping to cook after I got back from work but I felt so uncomfortable sitting on my Ned when they were laughing and all that. I felt like I don’t belong here. I feel that wherever I go. I don’t belong anywhere unless it’s under my blanket and no one can see me.
So I took a wash, wore my shorts and a t-shirt, grabbed my headset and phone, and went out the apartment. I sat on my usual spot wear I stare at the stars some nights. I looked up. I could count the stars cause there was not much. I played my songs and started reading my book again. I saw the trailer of this book so I couldn’t imagine a brand new characters but the ones I saw in the trailer. Dammit.
The story is about a 16 year old girl who has cancer who likes a guy who also has cancer. Obviously they have to fall in love which is obvious. I don’t know why but I kinda wished I had some kind of a serious illness like cancer. JUST so someone will actually give a shit about me and talk to me and care and shit you know? I know it sounds stupid and I should be great full for the life I have. Blegh!… =/
After about an hour later that damn thing started. GOSH, I hated it! It’s the used water, watering the grass and plants or whatever to make things look greener or something. I dunno what the fuck you call that thing but urgh…
I didn’t wanna go back to my room. But I had no choice. So I went in. And I heard them laughing so loud. I stepped into my room and saw them taking a selfie or recording a video using that new selfie stick.
I turned around and went back. I’m still not used yo this place so I didn’t know where I was going but I kinda wanted to get lost. like literally. Get fucking lost. From my own damn life. I wish. I saw a bench and sat there and listened to music. I stared at one star and thought. I don’t know how long I’ve been thinking or what I was actually thinking about.
After maybe like one hour I went back to my usual bench cause I knew the water might have stopped. So I was there. After a while one if my roommates came and sat in the other corner of the bench. She was playing candy crush. Man, I hated that game so freaking much. Ever damn person on Facebook sent me invitations to play candy crush. Seriously? I love candy, but this game makes me wanna hate it. Fuck. You. All. Who sends me game requests!
Anyway, she sat there for more than 30 minutes playing that, and me listening to music and reading the book. I felt kinda awkward. Finally she said. She’s gonna go in cause it was pretty late and we have work tomorrow. I said okay. I liked her as a person. She helped me once when I was helpless and I am still great full to her for that. So I tried to be nice to her.
I came back in when my phone battery turned red. So I came back in and went straight to bed trying to hide myself inside the blanket. I hope I’ll not see Chucky in my sleep tonight. I saw that creepy doll last night and it was too freaky and scary I almost piss my pants.