How do I feel so alone in a house full of people. My head feels like it’s in a vice all the time, I can’t shake the constant urge of just running away. Juvenile, I know, but really am I the only one that feels this way. Surely not, there has to be someone out there whose internal conflicts are worse, you know the ones who kill themselves. Let’s not get me wrong, I think about it, alot! Well at least on a daily basis, I’m just too chicken shit to do it. It would hurt to bad…..lol. I just don’t know where to turn, which path to take, which glass is half full. They all look completely empty to me. I’m so pessimistic, it drives me completely insane. I don’t wanna feel this way, I want to be happy. Is that such a bad thing to want, is anyone ever really happy. How many smiling people a day do you think are really happy, or is it just a facade. I wonder if I could talk to someone that was really happy, with any aspect of their lives. How long does it last? Is it real? I see it as a perception thing I guess, a perception I just don’t have. Oh well, it is what it is. I can’t change it, even though I wish I could. I do know that I’m seriously tired of pretending. Yet, pretend on!!!