My Mind, My heart, and My Gut

I always knew that my husband cheated on me from day one. But he came up to me and told me what he did. But I forgave him and I told him never do it again. I was already pregnant with our child. But again I knew it kept on happening. I always wondered if he would ever stop. I knew he loved me and I loved him. But as time went on him and I moved out here in Florida and I felt it that the second year of being here his ex wife bought him a ticket to new york. Everytime he goes there she goes there to be with him. But he fought with me and told em that she wasn’t going to be there that I need to stop. The fourth year we were here his father came to see us and he told me that his son ended up in a hotel with her while he was there. Why would his father tell me that?.  So when I told him after his father left he went crazy and called his brother and sisters and his ex while I was there and I think he did that cause he wanted back up. I just wondered why didn’t I get up and leave his ass?….I didn’t realize a lot while I was him that I see now since the beginning of 2014. His whole demeanor and actions changed. I don’t need anyone to come up to me and tell me that my husband did something behind my back. I can feel it in my heart my mind tells me and my gut tells me the same thing. But when I told him that he told me that that ain’t shit that I need solid proof. I told him no I don’t. I really love him but something is telling me that I know this isn’t going to work out. We made up again and it is like he ended our marriage and he asked me what do i want? What I want doesn’t matter to him at all. Every time I said I don’t want to argue or yell or cry not right now, he does it. He knows how I get about him bringing up things. He told me that he will give me space but he never does. He tells me that we should just stick together until the kids get older and leave the house then it will be easier to seperate. I said no. You want to me to be unhappy and miserable for so many years until the kids grow up? No I’m not having that. If it doesn’t work I will tell you to leave. The kids are sorta old enough to understand. But our middle son looks at mommy and daddy hub and kiss and he always says daddy loves mommy…..But one time both boys heard us fighting and we made up again and he hugs me and he tells our son say what you always say. He said no I can’t right now. Kids aren’t stupid they know what it is going on. Do you really need solid proof to tell you what is going on? I don’t think so to me.

2 thoughts on “My Mind, My heart, and My Gut”

  1. Sorry, this is a man that doesn’t really want to be with you. He also has no respect for you. I know, I’ve lived it twice.

  2. I have a feeling that he is a narcissist. he has all the signs. I wonder if he can change. What kind of relationship were you in?

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