July 18th 2014, Dear journal,

I can not believe I have been married for year now. it does not seem like that long my husband and I have been together, I mean yes we have been friends off and on, but never dated each other but look at us now. yes we do have our ups and downs and he does piss me off lot, like more than you could handle to see me mad. But I love him and he’s my better half. This is my first time doing this journal online thing so please be patient with me.

Over this haha   We have been trying to have kids together and that isn’t working to well like I hope it would, I don’t know maybe it’s not the time for us to have them right now, but I want one really right now. we used everything an have tried everything an nothing has worked.  I’ve tried talking to doctors and people nothing has worked. I know I can have kids and everything.

half the time I’m not even interested in having sex my husband because I don’t know.  I know that I love him but half the time it’s like get away from me please.  It’s like did I do something wrong for me not to have kids again yet? I have searched on the internet to see how get pregnant easily and no one of them worked. I have quit smoking and that is hard enough for me.  but for while we were fuck buddies and then we started to date and then we got married.  he works nights and I hate when he has to work nights. because then I’m all lone in the house by myself.

My oldest brother he can get pregnant easily and I don’t get how he can have kids with different women but I can’t even have one baby or get pregnant with my husband I’m married. that’s just weird

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