I had a dream that I was performing at a location and a different sound engineer was working with me and was helping me get ready for the show. You showed up with your engineering friend. You had a gig here too, on a separate stage. We didn’t say hi to each other. But I saw you watching me. You were jealous that I had a new producer/engineer. You thought he was my new boyfriend, even though I knew he wasn’t. We both held pain in our eyes.
I was standing on the sidewalk and you passed by and tousled my hair playfully as if nothing was really wrong.
I was downstairs in my childhood home and you were pacing upstairs, crying about how you still couldn’t find a job or a place to live. I was packing things up, getting ready for a show. I was busy with my career, and felt slightly sympathetic that you were struggling, yet slightly pleased with your misfortune. In the blink of an eye, I was upstairs too, in my mom’s bed, and saw that someone was under the covers. I knew it was you. I scurried around the bed trying to find the shirt that I didn’t have on, careful not to wake you. You began to move and sat up and saw me. You were depressed and wanted me to come to you. I grabbed my shirt and climbed out of bed before you could say a word to me.
And then we were walking together, talking. In my dreams sometimes, I forget we’re not together in real life. I still felt like I wanted to run away from you and that you were hanging on to me. Or maybe we were getting back together and it still felt slightly wrong to me. But comforting
It was nice to see you.