That’s what my boyfriend told me tonight and it has me wondering whether there is some truth behind this.
You see, the past few weeks (maybe even months) I have been wondering who my true friends are and if true friendships even exists. Recently, I made the decision to stop consuming any form of alcohol. This does not mean I look down on those who drink or that I wish to surround myself with completely sober individuals. I’ve just decided that drinking contributes nothing to my life nor do I like dealing with hangovers or feeling crappy. I have things to do.
However, I feel that my choice has not been looked upon as lightly by peers. As a young adult, the social norm is to go out and have fun, a type of fun that only exists by being completely drunk or that alcohol has to be involved in some form of way.
Not only do I feel that I have been judged by those who are my friends for my choice not to partake in the consumption of alcohol, but I also feel that my social life had taken a hit. I feel as though I am looked over because I’m not the friend who you can go grab a drink with. And that really really hurts because I would assume that alcohol should not be the basis of a friendship. Especially friendships that I feel I have given more into then the opposite person.
However, what no one ever realizes is that I still enjoy their company and we could still grab a drink, except my choice of drink may stand on the Virgin side. I still want to be part of the party but I want to remember the evening and talk about the memories the next day. I want to enjoy life in great company even if they include a couple of drinks consumed by others n not me. (I can actually tolerate being with drunks without being a drunk myself)
But it’s just not the case and I now stand wondering how do I handle such situation and how do I fit in without consuming alcohol and being looked down upon.
I guess I’ll figure this out as I go.
On a more personal note, I should mention that my father, who is my number one hero, suffers from alcoholism (whether we admit it or not). Sometimes I just wonder when the day will appear when my dad’s life is taken away due to alcoholism. Sometimes I feel the time is closer then I expect. (sometimes it’s scary, sometimes I don’t know if I just accept the fact and fate)
Many of my close personal friends know this and have known the struggles I have faced and continue to face due to his actions of over consuming alcohol. Thinking about this situation sometimes upset me because I am choosing to NOT partake in something that has caused me much pain. Yet I feel shunned for not enjoying a couple of drinks. I am looked down upon for choice a healthier choice for myself.
Sorry I can’t turn up, it’s just not fun for me.