Love or desperation?

4- perceiving and a good listener – can find true pleasure when daring to do something outside of the box- this is the number related to my name, oops now some smartass will find out what my name is. These characteristics were the only ones mentioned yesterday on the birthday dinner that I remember, since they are pretty true. Believe in the powers of numbers and names or not, but this is at least true.

Now to something else that happened yesterday, on the birthday dinner. Could I have feelings for more than one guy? Adding that I barely know any of them, well the guy from yesterday I know fairly well, but we never hang out because I guess we both are too shy. To get to the point… I think I have feelings for him just like I have feelings for a guy in my drama class, a guy that I only have seen around in my school and two ex flirts. These feelings pop out whenever I am near them and I get ridiculously nervous when speaking to them or think about speaking to them. Well the school guy I have actually never even spoken to and it was a long time since I spoke to the ex flirts.

Love feelings makes me happy but confuses me to the point of which I wonder whether they truly are feelings or just desperate wishes of attention, appreciation, love and attraction from the opposite sex. The truth is that I have never had a boyfriend. Why? I´m not sure whether it´s because I am unattractive, weird, boring or just too shy, it might even be something else unknown. Are any of my feelings for these guys for real? Answer- to be continued

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