Same, But Different Day

The arguing is escalating. I blame myself. I am self destructing this relationship and I feel helpless from stopping myself. Yes, he’s to blame for physical and mental neglect, but I am to blame for constantly picking fights… I love him, and he loves me , and he is happy most of the time, but I’m afraid I can’t give him my whole heart and I’m wearing him down a little piece at a time. My heart was broken by someone ( my ex husband) who I gave it to a long time ago and I never want to feel that pain again.  I believe my husband just wants a companion , not necessarily a wife. Someone to take care of the house and dogs, have dinner waiting for him and to watch movies with. Anything else is just asking to much from him…conversation? He can’t follow. Sex? He’s too lazy . Wanna go somewhere or do something? No.           I cannot believe I have gotten myself into another situation where I’m not happy and to where I feel like a tool for hurting someone else.

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