People who are dear to you sometimes are the ones who can hurt you the most and make you feel useless. I have always been a good daughter. I always obey my parents. I follow the rules. And I always strive to meet their expectations. No wonder I graduated as the Top 1 in class from elementary to college. It felt so good making my parents proud and of meeting their expectations. When I graduated, I tried different kinds of jobs, mostly office works. I’d been to different places. Then I realized that all this time what I was doing was not making me happy. That what I was doing wasn’t my own choice. But indirectly had been chosen to satisfy my parents’ expectation.
I took a huge leap. I resigned from my job, enrolled in a university and took up additional units for education. For the first time, the sense of fulfillment started to creep on me. I could feel the exhilaration and thrill of doing something I want to do. But of course, it wasn’t so easy. Aside from going to school on Sundays, I work from Monday to Friday for me to be able to support my studies. I do not want to ask for my parents’ help for I know, it is not their responsibility anymore and that this choice is mine. Since I got the courage to make a decision on my own, issues started to come out. I am not able now to give a part of my salary to my parents since all of it are being saved up if not being paid for my tuition fee and other school fee which includes my food and travel allowance. I do understand that it is my responsibility as a child to help in some ways. However, I am not able to do so for the meantime.
So I tried explaining it to them. But the reaction was different. They even asked me that it would still take long for me to finish my studies and be able to hand them money since I will still be pursuing my masteral and doctoral degree. I did expect them to react the other way around. Like it’s fine as long as you are happy with what you are doing.
Sometimes you have to weigh it down. What you want and what others want you to do. At the end of the day, you only need to evaluate one thing, if that makes you happy or not. It is too hard, standing on your own, pursuing your dreams even most do not share the same enthusiasm you have. But I guess I just have to keep on moving forward. It’s scary. But if it feels scary yet it feels right, then I guess this is the right thing to do. It is high time for me to do whatever makes me happy. It is hard being a working student. I have two part time jobs. But I will strive harder. I won’t pay attention to what other people have to say about me. Besides I am matured enough to put up with them.
I’ll be firm and stand for my dreams. Whatever comes my way, I’ll make it true. So help me God.