Nothing eases the pain

I thought coming back up here would help. Confronting the memories that haunt my dreams my thoughts and breaths. Instead I walked into a home I filled with love and memories …I thought talking to those who love me would help. Instead it hurts. Seeing the pictures sent sends bullets thru my heart. Why does this hurt. I cant change it. I made my bed now I cant change it. I dont care what anyone says I am dealt this hand and now its done. I was the idiot that let go of real for pain.  Where is the bullet to end this night?

Thinking I am going to go outback sit and stare at the stars and listen to the music that haunts my soul. and maybe finally cry….. how can i be so dumb sometimes…it isnt like he even cares anymore….

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