I finally spoke from my heart. i finally told him. i need him. now its up to him. as i write this i gave him my journal access, i let him read my screwed up mind. the words i say but he doesnt here. I dont want to hear the things he thinks i want to hear. i want his heart, for him to bare it the way i actually did almost a year ago. i want him to know that barness and nakedness i felt. thats love. putting the fakeness aside and bearing it al for the person who is supposed to love you back. i want him to want me the way i want him. im not crazy about him, im in love with him but its farther than that. I am obsessed. that i cant breathe without him. i tried. i did. but i failed. now mr. its on you what happens next. and not run back here permanetly…for i wont stay here…its up to you to what we do from here….