Moving On The Highways of My Life

So, it’s been more than a month and a half now and I am still here at this stage that I can’t seem to forgive and forget. The most difficult of it all is I can’t move on.  How can you let go and forgive someone who has betrayed you for three years?  If you have given all you’ve got, your heart, your love, your trust and your time for more than three years only to find out that within those three years you were being betrayed?

I have been reading several articles almost on a daily basis on how to move on but nothing seems to work.  My heart is filled with anger and hatred.  I could not accept the fact that I was so stupid to even carry on all these years of betrayal.  Forgive?  They said that I can only move on after I have forgiven the sinner then I can also find peace within me.  But the sad part is, there is just no ounce of forgiveness in my heart. Every single moment that I remember all those times that I was made a fool, I tremble because of anger.  And the bad part of it all is I have to constantly go back and vividly remember everything just to be able to pinpoint on all the times that I have been betrayed unknowingly.  How was I able to do this to myself? Was it love or was it just main stupidity on my part.

I don’t know… perhaps I never will.

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