Today is not a good day. I feel like I am falling back into this spiral of negative thoughts. Many people have tried to help me, many methods have been used to get me out, none were really effective. Not blaming anyone but myself. Honestly I think the reason why it did not work when I was younger was that I did not want to get happy? Strange, I dont know, I just wanted to die. That was really sad, I am glad things are better now. People always say that I need to *do something* to get out of the cycle of /feeling sad – doing nothing – feeling sad because of doing nothing/ just do something, get outside, dance around just DO- SOME-THING. yeah, I just need to get over myself and *do something*. I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself and get up.

I honestly am feeling really useless and dumb at this moment.

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