Low

I dont like to say im depressed because i dont think its possible for me to be, that its selfish, that people wont believe me that im looking for attention, that it just isnt true.

 

but im sitting here writing this, so something is wrong with me right?

 

im sad. But i can still smile and laugh.

deep down, i am not happy with myself.

I can administer advice for  a happy life but that doesnt mean im following it.

 

last night i jusr lost patience with someone i love and now im afraid im losing him.

that thought just intensifies my thoughts of dying.

what would i be missing if i died?

I feel like at the rate i am going, im probably going to grow old with nothing but regret.

 

this is how i feel when i think about myself…

-fat

-not pretty enough

-not good enough at anything

-lazy

-annoying

-no one wants to be around me

 

How come my boyfriend choses to stay with me?

Theres probably someone so much better for him and im just being selfish holding him back from finding someone who is better for him.

 

If i wasnt so annoying hed want to be around me more often….i see other relationships and how the guy always wants to see the girl and it shows how much they love them. But i cant blame him for not wanting to see me….i dont want to see me half the time either.

 

i cant stand being around myself. Im constantly convincing myself that im driving people crazy and at that point i dont even want to be around me.

I think i need help.

 

 

2 thoughts on “Low”

  1. hey its okay to ask for help! you are so much better then you think. Getting help is not as bad as you might think. Many people get help from a professional without having any mental illness. Its okay, getting help is okay. You deserve the best!!

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