kk so here i go again

so today was shit day to start with. i have been stressed with homework for like every single day been sleeping late. but i dont like to bitch , well bitch alot. but it was fourth period and i had to hunt kids down who have early dismissals. fun! they had me looking for a ghost kid like wht the hell. so i was like in a pretty bad mood then. HE walks up to me (i need to give him a nickname) with his boo at his side. Well i think it was his girl friend. so tht just made me even more mad in a way. so when he looked my way and nodded i said gad dammit and know i have to see u….. word vomit (mean girls) so i just walked inside a room to get my stuff and when i came out side i could still see him and i was like i need to tell something else (i act like a dick to everyone so i could play it off tht i was messing around with him do yeaaa) but not with his girl friend or women companion as i would like to call her. luckly it looked like he was going to walk the same way i need to walk like no lie (not being a total creep). and once i made it to my class i was waiting out side from some i knew (cough cough u know who) and once someone i knew was waking up to me we talked for like five seconds and then i turned around to find LQ (tht is his nick name from know on) walking down the hall eating carrot. he looked at me and i looked at him and he smiled. gosh his smile is like tht one kids tht has tht smile tht just like melts u. and i fliped him off (i know kinda werid thing to do to ur crush but thts me) and he just laughd and walked away but i did not want him to leave so i called out to him and told hi to come here. he did and as he walked i had to fight the urge to let my eyes wonder but when he got close i just took a carrot and told him he could leave he looked at me like really as he was walking away i finally was able o speak i said if i could have his carrot and he looked back and so no. so i was going to throw it to him and like did tht duck thing like oh no and then smiled and walked away. he totally made my day. i have also been thinking to confess but i think tht would be so sad if he said no so im scared i was going to do it last year but when i had the chance i pussed out plus my friend tht is also friends with LQ was there so i was like no but this year its going to happen just dont know when but i know it is going to happen and lets see wht the hands of fate hold. idk how to ask though cause i want to be all like he i like u but if u dont rol tht way can still be friends. i mean i can lie to my self i mean i have been doing tht my whole life so for me to forget or alter some thing is like super easy but i might not do it to this memory. or maybe i should find someone who i know is gay instead of going for the straight people. well idk sorry about the rant

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