I can’t believe I’m thiking this is the choice to go again.
I’m being tortured slowly with each dose of Valium.
Speed up my taper or slow it down I’m losing myself and I’m alone.
I have no other choice but to leave even though I don’t want to.
I’m afraid so afraid so terrified, but I live in fear with suicidal thoughts all day everyday.
My anxiety is getting so bad I can barely handle it, constantly wanting to jump out of my skin.
Constantly wanting to end my life this isn’t any way to live.
I want off these drugs so I can return to the real me…the authentic me.
I want to have everything I deserve… love, a future full of fun and spontaneity.
I want to move away from all this negativity and be where I’ve always wanted to be…. Cali.
I will never have any of that if I continue down this path, constantly battling my inner thoughts.
Constantly obsessing on how to get off the drug, constantly obsessing over the torture.
I can’t think about much more except a few things which torture my soul as well.
I just want reprieve from everything that is slowly killing me.
I’ve endured so much in the past 9 months that it’s incredible.
My mind and body have been able to withstand so much I don’t know how I have done it.
Maybe it’s the final time to rip the bandaid off and suffer whatever I have to go through.
I want to heal, I want my future to be bright, I have goals set for myself I will achieve them and more.
I have to get past this hell first and it’s not going to be easy but I have to do something fast.