I woke up this morning at 7:00am. Now I have done this regularly since my oldest started school. Each day, whether I feel like it or not, I will wake up to help get her ready for school and kiss her sweet little face on the way out the door. While I have not gone very long at all drink free, these few days have been longer than I have gone in years. Every day I notice a positive change. More drive to live each day with a genuine smile on my face. Everyday I realize a new interest. I am not spending every morning waking up feeling bad and craving another drink to make the emotional pain and hangover go away. Also and previously stated before, my anxiety is at an all time low. I just don’t feel as on edge as I use to. Don’t get me wrong, I still do feel edgy, and I am probably more uptight than your average person, but it doesn’t feel as overwhelming this morning.
I have also been working on replacing alcohol with healthier options. Anytime I get the itch for a drink I have been abstaining by either writing in this journal, or hoping on the website Recovery World, and talking to the awesome people in the chat room. I have never been one to truly open myself up to others. I enjoy people, but I do not offer most of them my true emotions. Anytime I had a rough day or felt anything, lonely, bored, happy, sad I would turn to my absolute best friend alcohol. Alcohol was always there right when I wanted it and it would always make me feel something other than what I was at that moment. In these past few days I have been replacing those urges for alcohol with other things, journaling and such. I can honestly say that I feel a true difference. Now, instead of combating my unpleasant feelings with poison, I am filling my time and heart with supportive people and positive behavior.
This morning as been spent, drinking very good coffee, chatting, writing in my journal, and listening to some awesome 90’s music on Pandora. I think I could get use to these changes. One day at a time 🙂 and every day is getting better and better.