9/16/14 – Ups and Downs

So the night of 9/11 was ok. We argued a bit- can’t remember what about so I’m sure it was very trivial. 9/12 was NOT good. We went out that night, started well but just went south. I ended up telling him to get out by the end of it. It was a BAD night. I think the fight started because I was mad that he didn’t want to have sex- I felt ugly and wanted him to reassure me that I wasn’t. After the fact, I think back and the argument actually started because he was mad that I didn’t initiate it. So he really DiD want me after all. UGH! The amount of stupidity that runs through me during these moments is unacceptable. 9/13 was better. We went out, came home, had a good time. We really enjoyed each other’s company all night long. No arguments, no fights, no stupidity running a-muck. I truly love this man and he must love me even more to put up with the bad nights. I must be pretty darn amazing the rest of the time.. haha. Just kidding. He’s the amazing one to deal with it. I wouldn’t say he’s a pro at handling it yet, but he’s working on it and I couldn’t appreciate it more. Sunday night was fine- I got a little annoyed because he wouldn’t watch football and spend a lazy day with me, but I got over it when he came in from fishing earlier than I expected and helped with dinner. Last night was good. We went to bed ridiculously early because I was pooped from spending all day in court with my ex-husband. Blah, Blah, Blah. So we didn’t get to spend too much time together but it was ok because I slept really good with him. I woke up a little tired still, but nothing compared to last week. I am now getting pretty drained as the day goes by but I am sure I will catch a second wind around 2 or so. My period was over yesterday and I could tell that my mood was much more tolerable. Brian was in a bad mood (he has a lot on his mind right now) but I was easily able to deal with it. Thank goodness he chooses to be in a bad mood after my “time” is done each month. It would be horrible if we were both not doing so well at the same time. Anywho, that is that and now I am caught up. Hopefully, the rest of the month until next time will be all good updates. 🙂 Can’t wait to go to the dr on the 25th to figure out exactly what can be done to help my family and I get through these monthly horrifying moments.

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