Well as far as having a baby goes I’m closed to obsessed. I am also one step closer.
Last month I had a HSG, something that I don’t mind never experiencing again. The results were great so this month was the dry run for clomid month. Let me just start by saying…this shit better work the first time! Clomid has made me feel more like a hormonal mess not to mention all the other lovely symptoms…the hot flashes, the cramping, the constipation! So much fun thus far. But I finished my last day yesterday so just a few more days before the ultrasound. They somehow forgot to mention it’s going to be transvaginal.I think at this point it’s kinda like, if you want to have a baby…get used to things being shoved up your vagina. Awesome. But anyway, if all looks well for the ultrasound then my wife and I are just one month away from the actual live attempt!
I’m so nervous. It’s like finally after all the planning and research we are only a month away from it being time. It makes me excited…we are so close I can almost touch it! And at the same time I just wanna look myself in the eye and say “are you fucking crazy?! You are 100% sure about what you are going to get yourself into?? OK…well just checking…proceed.”
I think it’s normal to be nervous and to have doubts, but I am also well aware of what I’m doing…I’ve had to actually try to have a baby. It’s not ever gonna be an “oops! I’m pregnant!” There is no accidentally getting pregnant when you are shelling out $1000 a pop to try. But on that note…the clomid I will be taking again accompanied by the injections for the live round, may cause multiples. Did I mention that I own a single child uterus?? This is not a twin or triplet uterus…it’s a one bedroom apartment. No fuck that!-its a studio. ONE!! So that definitely adds to the nerves!
But for now it’s a deep breathe. Hopefully all looks well when my wife and I go in on the 23rd for our U/S…and then it’ll be go time 🙂