September’s spiders

I love this time of year. We are just on the edge of Autumn. The weather is still mild but the cooler evenings remind you that the winter months are not too far in the distance. Soon there will be a light dusting of frost on the ground in the fields like glitter under the early morning Sun.

Unfortunately the spiders that have been making the most of the recent warmer weather don’t have the same enthusiasm. Yesterday evening a huge spider, no, tarantula, introduced itself to the under side of a recipe book.

It was just after I’d finished dinner and the call of the kettle was too great the ignor. As I switched the light on and headed toward the side board the beast made its appearance from under the cooker. Oh. My. Lord. This thing was so beefy I could actually hear it as it marched over my wooden floor. It ¬†stopped in it’s tracks, I think it must have suddenly realised I was in the room with it. It was kinda like when you’ve stopped at traffic lights and youre giving it your all singing along to that ballad you haven’t heard in forever then you turn and realise that your window is wide open the hot guy in the car next to you has just heard the full audition and you think to yourself ‘if I don’t give him eye contact and I just hmm to myself he won’t notice’.

After a sharp intake of breath we both panicked. I responded by doing the spider dance and making noises that I didn’t even know a human could make and it responded by trying to make a dash for the safety of the fridge. What could I do? With out thinking I grabbed the closest thing I could which happened to be an old cooking book my mum had given me in the hope that it might inspire me to be more practical in the kitchen. Now it finally had it’s day of glory! I dropped it on top of the offending monster. Safe at last!

I felt bad. It’s black hairy legs were sticking out from under the two inch thick cooking bible that had a pretty picture of a woman in a pinney smiling brightly as she ices her baked to perfection cup cakes. Truth is I hate killing spiders I think they are beautiful and purposeful creatures but I freaked out, I panicked. I’ve never seen one that big in my whole life and I had visions of it making itself comfortable in one of my shoes. I lifted up the book it’s broken (and in comparison to me, Tiny) body lay there squished into the floor. I picked it up and lay it on my Palm which it was the size of. I studied it for a moment before throwing it in the bin -where else could I put it? I am a murderer. I hope it’s husband/wife doesn’t come after me!

I hope September’s spiders are few and far between!

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