Jan 1st, 2015

Heyas!  Happy New Year!
As a New Years resolution, I’m going to try to keep a journal going all year.  I used to have one which had about two years worth of my life in it (with random jumps because I suck) but that website got deleted (can you guess which one??) so I’ve been looking for a site I can update with ease ever since.  This seems like a good fit.
Some other of my New Years resolutions are…
-Study psychology!  I can’t at my school, because of reasons I will explain, but I’ve always been very interested in it (in particular adolescent sexuality)(but maybe that’s just because I’m in the adolescent range)
-Find three things I’m grateful for each day
-Shower every day!  This is a big one for me because when I hit my depressive wall of not-fun, one of the major symptoms was not showering because I just didn’t see the point.  I think it’ll really help my mental state if I can do this, no matter how hard I find it
-Exercise (that was so hard to spell for some reason) at least twice a week.  I’m cheating with this one because I do that with school anyway, but I’m gonna try to do the morning training sessions too.  I was so close to abs this year I could almost taste them!
-Keep my room tidy.  This one will most likely crash and burn within a week..

A LITTLE INFORMATION THAT MIGHT COME IN HANDY
-I go to a very small performing arts school.  We only have three (well, four now I guess)(5 if you count Marian) teachers and 2-3 different classes, depending on the day.
-On Saturdays, I’m a part of a theatre company.  We have two major performance seasons a year.  There are four tiers of the company: training (the lowest, one show per season), players (aprox. 2 shows a season), ensemble (performance level, 3-4 shows a season), studio (highest level, 6< shows a season.  In the shows we do, Studio takes the lead/most prominent roles.  The last show we did, Studio carried it the whole way through, and it was so good omg).  I’m in ensemble and studio, ensemble for 5 years, studio for 3.  I’ve been in the company for 10 years all up.  It’s a huge company with thousands of kids around Victoria.  Most of my closest friends I met through this company.
-My best friend’s name is Sara.  We met through the company in 2010 (when I was friends with her little sister), and became close in 2012.  She left at the end of 2012 and we’ve stayed close ever since, which is hard because we live very far away from each other.
-My boyfriends name is Zach.  We met through the company in 2014 and started dating at the end of August (he asked me out on his birthday the little shit, literally couldn’t say no).  We don’t know when exactly we became official so we decided just to make it our best date, which was September 28th.  Like Sara, he lives in the middle of nowhere (but in the opposite direction).
-My birthday is coming up soon, January 21st
-I have severe social anxiety (which is why I write journals instead of talking to people), trichotillomania (compulsively pull out my own hair)(I know it’s gross shut up), and, as you may have guessed, depression.  I think I might have OCD as well, as it would explain the trich, but my other symptoms feel a lot less in comparison so I probably don’t idk dude anxiety is my thing.
-I have eczema, most prominent on my legs (they gross) and right now my skin is doing the whole ‘let’s get so dry that we literally just fall off everywhere’ thing it’s so flakey and gross fuck my skin man
-I live with my mum (who is chill as) and my brother (who is a twat).  I stay at my dad’s when my mum goes away for long periods of time, and when I need to look after his cat.  Mostly I just see him when I need to be driven somewhere, because I can’t trust how he’s going to act on any given day.  We’ve had past troubles.

I think that’s everything important in my life right now…
THREE THINGS I’M GRATEFUL FOR
-French toast!  My mum just made it and I’d forgotten how good it was until now!
-RuPaul’s drag race!  I started watching a marathon of season 6 last night at around 10pm, and stopped at 6:15 this morning, two episodes off finishing.  So worth it.
-Bad current top 40 songs.  They are my life.  Anaconda (which isn’t bad but whatever) makes me smile like no song has before!  Right now I’m listening to Rude by Magic! I love it so much.

I think that’s it for me today!  It probably won’t be this long every day because my life isn’t that interesting, but I’ll keep updating.
Bridie xx

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