Step by Step
Friday, Jan. 2, 2015
“I looked around me at people who seemed happy and tried to analyze their happiness, and it seemed to me that without exception these people had something or somebody they loved very much. I didn’t have the courage to love; I was not even sure I had the capacity. Fear of rejection and its ensuing pain were not to be risked, and I turned away from myself once more for the answer, this time to the drinks I had always refused before, and in alcohol I found a false courage.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom From Bondage”), pp 546-47.
Today, …”in alcohol I found a false courage.” Whether I am far into recovery or just beginning, the time has come to be done with all that is not true. If I am hinging my sobriety on my spouse or partner not leaving me, keeping my job or convincing a judge I deserve a break from my latest DUI, my motivation to get sober is linked to something that may never happen and, if it doesn’t, my sobriety likely will not last. Whatever the untruths in my life and even in sobriety, the Fourth Step is my road map to honesty – the truth of my own life, my drinking, my recovery. May I not rely on some bottled courage as I set out to find my own truth. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015