If I’m completely honest with you here: I totally get jealous. And I hate myself for it. That’s because I really dislike it when people get jealous. It’s like “can’t you just be happy for one another?”. Some people just can’t stand it when others are happy. It’s like they have to be the happiest of all. I know some people like that. Whenever they feel like other people are having a better time or whatever, they’ll do anything to stop that. Like a few days ago: we had a party with almost the whole school, and MissPopular was – of course – on the stage. It took her only a few minutes to realize that her friends were having more fun with friends (and guys). Especially one friend. She had a beautiful relationship with a guy and she looked so happy! But MissPopular of course could not stand that. So she started two rumours about the poor girl (believe me, you don’t want to hear them). The rumours soon reached the guy and he broke up with her. The girl was heartbroken. But, MissPopular was in the spotlight again, so everything was good, right?
Don’t get me wrong when I say I get jealous: I’m really happy for other people when something good happens for them. But when good things continue to happen to them, and there seems to be an endless stream of misery (okay, I might be exaggerating a little) for me.. I kind of get jealous. I don’t try to ruin their lives just so I feel better – don’t worry. But it does make me feel like.. not enough, sometimes.
My friends are all having the most beautiful and awesome experiences, they’re going to parties, they get boyfriends etc etc. And I’m just here… Studying for school, writing, watching series and sometimes meeting some friends (to then hear how awesome their lives are). I always end up hearing that “the right guy and opportunities just haven’t found me yet”. Right.
But I can always say that I’m not a backstabbing bitch who can only be happy when her friends aren’t. I love it when my friends are happy. I only feel like I get left behind a little sometimes.
Sorry for complaining. 🙂