So I’m feeling much better today, even kind of chipper, which is surprising considering how effing depressing my last journal was. After I wrote yesterday’s I flipped through a few of my old ones and I started thinking how devastatingly optimistic and corny I sounded, like when I was talking about Christmas spirit or whatever. And the ducks thing. So then I kind of started thinking about how goddamn lucky I should consider myself because CHRISTMAS SPIRIT dude. And even though I didn’t want to climb out of my depression and rage I still kind of, just a little bit, did. Because this is what ALWAYS happens whenever I’m feeling terribly low and almost suicidal–I think of something or other that makes me feel like an ungrateful, melodramatic bratty bitch for complaining about my life.
This probably won’t be permanent though. I’m just feeling good today just because. Probably because I got like ten hours of sleep yesterday night? Or maybe because today these two girls in my group were laughing and giggling like crazy while the two boys opposite kept cracking jokes. I’m the fifth wheel in the group–tacked onto their tables. Kind of like an intruder but whatever. I like their group because they’re all nice and there are two girls. I don’t really like sitting at tables with all boys because they never really listen in class and we have nothing to discuss even when the teacher tells us to. Call me prejudiced, I just don’t really have anything in common with boys.
Anyway. Wow I just noticed that there have been like ten plus journals written since I wrote Day Two. Which is totally weird because normally there are only like a few posts between two of mine. I guess a few were written by the same person but whatevs.
So I have this really long hair, to my waist. It’s really straight and I’ve never curled, permed or dyed it before ever. Anyway now I’m thinking of cutting it. I’m kind of wary of cutting my hair because I’m always kind of nervous that I’ll look ugly with shorter hair but maybe I should just stop worrying and just cut it already. It’ll grow back in a pinch–my hair grows really fast, seven or eight inches a year, which is maybe one or two inches above average, so maybe not THAT fast, but still. Long hair is super hard to maintain–washing and drying isn’t that hard, but COMBING takes forever. You have to comb it every day, maybe several times a day in winter, unless you want to have this huge snarled knotty tangled clump in the middle that takes forever to comb out, because it’s all caught up with static electricity and little fuzzies from your sweaters and whatnot. And down feathers from your coats and parkas and pillows and down comforters.
In the end I guess I’ll just say that I’m planning to watch lots of movies during the weekend. Plus lots of episodes of The Simpsons, which is my favorite TV show ever. Have I ever mentioned that my little sister likes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? She does, anyway, and I’ve watched the entire four seasons with her at some point. She has this DVD box set of them. Plus she watches a lot of Spongebob, which I think is pretty cute, even though some episodes are kind of odd. And listen to music. It’s funny that, when I hear one or a few songs that I totally fall in love with, I listen to them on repeat for weeks until I get kind of sort of sick of them, or I listen to some new song. A few sample songs that I have become obsessed with at some time are: Daydreaming, Brick by Boring Brick, Ain’t it Fun, The Only Exception, Playing God, Now, Human, Get Outta My Way, Let it Go (because Frozen), Royals, Yellow Flicker Beat, All About That Bass, Fireflies, Vanilla Twilight, most new Lady Gaga songs, and Christmas songs in honor of the holidays.
ANYWAY, goodbye for today and thanks for reading. I have to stop before I start talking all about every single detail of everything that comes to my mind, like the My Little Pony episode that my little sister is watching now…