I feel so broken all the time. I just can’t get my shit together. I have discontinued all outside relations and have since my boyfriend found out my I guess double life. I have no contact with any of the men I met. I am going to therapy now though the ship is still out on my therapist, we have only had two sessions. I am working well…I guess not as hard as I could be. Tomorrow is another day. Might look into some meditation class or group, I am not sure how it helps but it is recommended.  I am also supposed to start some nutritional supplements.

I want to work on myself but it all seems so pointless…well not pointless but really painful and overwhelming , I don’t feel like I could possibly succeed.  I have done so many things I am not proud of. I have so many regrets, how can I possibly make up for all of them?  I am so tired of crying….I have to try to keep going. The guilt due to my destruction is crushing, it’s just what I deserve…I will continue to stew in it…just having a hard time taking it all in.

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