Blessed…

On Saturday morning after work I took another test. The line was still on the fainter side but there it was. I woke Monica up and made her put on her glasses, and told her “congratulations! I think we’re gonna be mommies!” She smiled and hugged me. We were so excited. I could hardly believe it. We went to Disney later that night to celebrate but I was so tired from work that I was dragging. So we drove home and stopped at CVS to pick up an electronic test so that we knew 100% that it was a yes. And with 2 very eager people hovering over the test…we got out YES+!!!! We were so excited we hugged and squealed. We called the doctors office on Monday and told them the news. Made an appt for our first ultrasound at the end of January. I was surprised that not long after finding out a lot of symptoms started…immensely sore boobs, crazy sense of smell, cramps that wouldn’t quit, and massive exhaustion. I didn’t know I could be so tired. 

Things were amazing. I was so excited. We went and bought all the pregnancy books. But something wasn’t right. I was happy and excited…but something kept pulling me away. Something kept telling me not to get to excited. I wanted to make 100% sure I was pregnant but the doctor didn’t want a blood test. Now I would have to wait till I was almost 8 weeks before I knew for sure. I tried not to get my hopes up or tell too many people. That hardly seems right. I should be thrilled!! This is all I have ever wanted. Candice whats wrong with you?!

And then it happened. By Wednesday morning my cramps were gone, my boobs felt better. It was great. And then Wednesday night I got up to go to the bathroom…and there was blood. I kept thinking it would go away. I read and researched and so did Monica. Well We called the doctor in the morning and told them what was going on. We were told to go to Winnie. And so we did…exhausted. Neither one of us having really slept. And we sat there and finally the ARNP came in and said the pregnancy test was no longer positive. I had miscarried and was having my period. We were heart broken and devistated. But there was nothing we could do. We tried our best to pick up the pieces and carry on, planning the ever frustrating next round of IUI.

But for a few brief days…I was somebody’s momma. And it didn’t end the way we wanted it to…but for a short time we were truly blessed.

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