I have been struggling with depression since I was a little girl. It all started when my grandmother passed away and progressed when I was bullied in grade school.
In fourth grade everyone called me “piggy” (my middle name is Peggy Jo)….. I took this to heart. The name calling got worse throughout school. It got so bad that I didn’t feel like I had any right to live, everyone had made me feel so bad about myself it was hard to even get out of bed to go to school. I went from being a straight A student to failing every class. I didn’t care anymore. I did not want to live. I would come home from school each day crying.
I starting to loose a lot of weight, I stopped eating until my parents starting catching on….that’s when my eating disorder really started. I was now 14 years old weighing 100lbs. I had started hanging out with “the wrong crowd”, I started drinking all the time, smoking weed and cigarettes. I would even make a cocktail and bring it to school with me just to help get through the horrible day.
You see I cared to much about what everyone thought of me. I started to see myself the way people were talking about me, fat, ugly, a nobody. This may I add was just the start. I started to cut myself and take pain medicine like it was candy. Anything to “get my mind off the real problems”.
Looking back on this now I can see how I let others control me. I was giving everyone who hated me what they wanted. I was miserable and they loved it.
I still struggle with depression but it is nothing like it used to be. I have stopped caring so much about what others think of me. I may lack in self-confidence and isolate myself but I can honestly say that I have become a fighter. I am now taking medication and also seeing a psychologist and a therapist. I have decided that I am going to overcome my depression and I am going to one day, help people who are struggling with depression. I go to SNHU and I am pursing a BA in Psychology. I plan on focusing on mental health and child development.
One day I am going to beat my depression. One day I am going to be able to help others beat theirs. I am here to tell you that no matter what you go through, it WILL be okay. You just have to have a little faith in yourself and get help. No one can overcome depression on their own. Keeping things inside will only cause you more hurt. Seek help. Talk to someone rather it be a friend or a professional.
You can do anything if you set your mind to it. Never give up on yourself.