suicide

This has been the roughest few days I have had in a very long time.  Two days ago my boyfriend tried to kill or at the least harm himself….twice really.   On Friday while at work I received a phone call from the sheriff’s office that they had taken my boyfriend to the hospital. Apparently he had sent a text to one of his ex co-workers about that he was sorry the way things had turned out. At this point the stories I got from my ex and the sheriff’s office differ. The ex says he said nothing even indicating he had taken a lot of pills and was drinking alcohol. If that was true…why did his friend call the police.

So the story goes the police show up at our apartment they interview him and then leave him and loiter in the parking lot for a while. I think he said about 45 minutes. Then they return with more cops for a total of four or five.  They have another conversation and get him to go with them, I am not sure what they spoke of or how things  played out but I do know that my ex really lost it when they started putting the cuffs on his wrists.  He started hitting his head on the plastic between him and the cops once in the car.  He really gave himself a bump on his head, it was even bleeding.  He was also yelling every horrible thing he could think of at them and he can have a tongue that cuts like a knife. They took him to the hospital. I then got the call. I left work immediately,  the sheriff office said he thinks they shut the front door…It might not be locked and he doesn’t know if my indoor only cats were still inside. I went home first, the door was shut and locked and my sweet chicks were sleep on my ex`s inflatable mattress on the floor. I then went to the hospital…..

I am so very tired…I will continue this at a later date…there is just so much more….my heart aches…I am so lonely and isolated…I can’t tell people about this at would need to be revealed what a disgusting person I have been. I never dreamed this would be my life…It feels so horrible….I won’t tell you my ex`s secrets…he has a life made to be a movie…a sad movie of betrayal and survival…a movie in which I am the villain…

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