There’s a lot bouncing around in my head right now, and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.
Regarding ED, one book I looked at recommended writing a letter to the eating disorder. I like this idea, so here goes.
Dear Eating Disorder,
It’s been nice having you to focus on these many years. By nice, I mean, maybe not so nice. But useful. You have served a very useful purpose as a distraction to other things that hurt. Things like depression, not wanting to work, and the stress of not knowing how to relax. But now, I think I’m ready to move on. I no longer want to live with you. I’m ready for a change.
I never married you, ED, even though OA made me think that we are one-in-the-same. I don’t want to leave my beloved group, but I think you can have them in the divorce. I need to move on with my life and am ready to leave this group behind if that’s what I need to do.
Thank you for being there for me, it’s been very nice to have company these past many years. I think I’m ready for real friendships now, outside of OA. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle that, but I’m willing to try.