Grau is the German word for Grey…which is a fitting word to describe the weather, both today and yesterday. It’s very cold and wet and windy here right now. It might even snow a bit tomorrow. But I won’t get my hopes up because it’ll probably be that kind of pitiful, barely-there, mushy kind of snow that will melt once it hits the ground and make everything soggy. That’s the most I can really expect from snow in January here.

Today I went to K’s class and found that I no longer have a desk, as all of the groups have now been split up. So the only way I could actually sit down was, one of my nice old groupmates, A, went and dragged me an extra chair that had been pushed off to the side of the room and set it down in an aisle next to another of my old groupmates’ desk. M was really nice about me sharing her desk with her.

When K came into class, he looked at me and asked “Why are you even here?” in this really kind of almost irritated voice, like I had done something wrong. But that wasn’t even surprising because he basically always sounds like that. Then he just went on and reviewed half of the questions he was going to give them on their test. Then class was over.

Anyway. Then after a boring morning I went back to M’s class in the afternoon. When he came in, he took a look at them and said “Something is different. What has HAPPENED.” and they all laughed at his fake cluelessness and told him that their places had been rearranged, and he asked them “Is someone punishing you guys?” they laughed and told him no, and then he kind of chuckled and pointed at me and said “She doesn’t even have a desk anymore.” And then we kind of laughed again. It’s always rather nice in his class–he’s a very easygoing, very humorous guy, not at all like the introvert he calls himself. We finished learning about Robert Frost, who is in M’s opinion the worst poet ever, and then he told them about the finals again, and then class was over and I came home. After kind of steaming myself dry (the rain was blowing sideways on me, so I was damp when I got home) I scooted my little sister off the computer and started writing this journal–oh no wait, first I watched a video of German words (I learned a bunch of words today) and then I kind of searched up some stuff I want to buy online (I still haven’t bought a new backpack yet, and recently I saw some really pretty pieces of clothing online that I can only admire from afar for now). I also looked up the prices of a German-English dictionary, but unfortunately, the only German-English ones I could find were out of stock in my province, and the other ones were either German-Chinese dictionaries which I don’t want or this one huge German-English-Chinese dictionary. Seriously. I don’t want a German-English-Chinese one because that would be kind of redundant. Not to sound cocky, but as long as I know what a German word means in English, I’ll just KNOW what it means in Chinese, unless it’s some really specialized term in biology or science, and why would I be learning a word like that anyway.

But I’m getting off topic. You may have noticed that this journal sounds kind of dreary. That’s because I’m feeling a bit sad. You see, my old classmates in middle school are near their finals now, and I almost, ALMOST wish I could be there with them. That old feeling that I would get when it was almost finals…complaining about the mountains of homework with my friends, getting nervous and completely spacing out the moment I see an unfinished quiz, and then finally taking the finals and madly discussing answers in between tests, and then packing a small hill of papers, textbooks and homework into as many bags as possible and then lugging it all home. I don’t know. I went through four finals in my life and each one of them was happy for me. The last one was happy-sad–I was happy that I was over and done with middle school tests forever, but I was sad that I was leaving my friends and all the good memories behind me. But anyway I just miss that feeling of belonging with a group of people and having the same experiences as them. I know it’s supposed to be good to be different but, it’s also lonely. And kind of sad.

But that doesn’t mean anything really. I’m also very happy that I don’t have to take any finals–because they are stressful as HELL. When I was in middle school (even on winter and summer vacation), I would often have dreams (read: nightmares) about school and tests, no joke. I would picture some part of the school, or some crazy teacher, or I would dream about getting bad marks and stuff. It’s funny that now, I have started having dreams that involve me learning German. Which is actually pretty awesome–it’s like my brain is encouraging me to learn it! Also, yesterday my dad asked me why I wasn’t learning Russian, and I completely blanked. At least he didn’t say that I couldn’t learn German. He probably figured out that I was learning by himself, because neither I nor my mother told him.

To conclude the journal (which is surprisingly long for me) I just want to add that I can count all the way to one hundred in German, but I can’t do it very quickly (not as quickly as English or Chinese) so I’m practicing counting one by one, by twos, by threes, by odd and even numbers, by tens etc just to get more practice with counting. This may sound pointless, but if I hope one day to go to Germany (I do–one of my classmates here said that Germany is really neat and pretty) then I should get all of these ordinary numbers and whatnot straight so I don’t come off sounding like some sort of ignorant tourist.

Anyway. Have a great Tuesday/Wednesday guys, I’ll see you tomorrow–


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