Who I was

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I was the girl who is struggling to grow up in the eye’s of a woman’s society. I was transforming from the little girl I was in my mothers eyes into the woman I believe I wanted to be even though I’m afraid. I was a young adult striving yet struggling to enter the real world. I wanted my dream, my love, and my passion of being an photographer or a writer to come true so I was working harder than I believe and known that I could have handled to make sure that comes true. I was the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve no matter how much I known that it’s going to get broken. I was the girl that pushed people out of my life when I truly needed them because I was afraid that I’m going to get hurt. I was the girl who loved to be in a relationship so I did everything in my power to please the person I am with so he doesn’t leave me for someone better or more attractive. Though I sacrificed more than just my freedom. I was the girl who was always afraid of going after guys that were out of my league so I only date ones that I known I definitely have a chance with so I didnt get shot down. I was the one who puts her friends wants, needs, and desires before hers because my only want, need, and desire to for them to be happy.
I was the one that couldn’t stand to see her reflection in the mirror or see a picture of myself because I hated the way that I look. I was the girl that approached every situation with a different outlook so that even if it didn’t happen the way it was planned, there is something good to leave and take from it. I was the girl who makes sure to dish out the humor and the jokes before others get the chance. I was the girl who didn’t come from a rich family but a family who always had what we needed and for that, its made me value and appreciate everything in my life more. I was the girl that believes that keeping things inside is the only way I can protect myself from being hurt and having part of me that’s not going to be judged.
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I was the girl that always does what everyone else wanted to do even when I don’t want to do them because I’m afraid of making them mad when I only wanted to make them happy. I was the girl that is the biggest fan in a person’s life and is always there to encourage them to do what they want to do. I was the girl that lived her life for her friends and her family more than for herself. I was the girl that is always seemed to put herself in situations where she is left alone when she is truly afraid of being alone. I was the girl who always worked harder when someone told me I couldn’t do something. I was the girl that smiled even when she wanted to frown because she didn’t want others to know how she felt or bring others down. I was the girl that danced to a different beat and to a different song because I believed that being normal is not being yourself.

I was the girl that made others have self confidence in themselves when I honestly didn’t have much at all. I was the girl who believed that everyone is talking about me when I am not around so I give them something to talk about. I was the girl that laughed when something didn’t go right so I didn’t lose control. I was the girl that would stand up for what she believed in even if it might hurt someone. I was the girl who welcomed change in her life even if it’s not for the best in the beginning. I was the girl who was just happy to wake up each morning.

I am not that same girl anymore.

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