OK, that title is a bit inflammatory. My weight is UP today. Up beyond what is acceptable to me. 162, BMI 25. This is NOT working. And I’m confused.
There is a big part of me that wants there to be another way, besides abstinence, for me to sanely address my weight. I want to be able to stay thin and eat what I want and not focus on food every waking second of every day. Or even obsessively for part of every day. That’s what I want!!! I have a new book from the library “end emotional eating”. Is the answer in there? Or does the answer go back to abstinence through the 12 steps of AA? Damn it!!! I got this therapist and my insurance has paid her tons of money and what has happened? I’ve gained weight!!! *!#&$@!
Well, I’m not going to give up on this. Though some folks might say I should. I can’t go back to being super heavy, that’s too damn scary for me.