How can you tell when your mind is actually all over the place?

For me, I am afraid a lot. Like, for example – I have written an entry before and ended up deleting / not posting it. Why? I just didn’t feel like it. That’s all – as simple as that.

So, what am I going to write about now?

I’m worried about a lot of things lately, so I’ll try to push away other issues that don’t really matter. I don’t need any drama that has no relevance to me whatsoever.

However, I am worried about my life now. I’ve just finished my online training for my new job, but I haven’t received their final decisions yet: will they accept me? Which level will I be in? Will the pay be good enough – if not more than the previous company that had let me go?

If it’s good enough, then I’ll hang on to that while going back to teaching part-time again at the same school and working on more freelance stuff. For now, that’s just about all that I can do. I need to stay where I am now. I need to keep my personal space and solitude, my sanity. That means I have to keep on paying the monthly bill for this rented room.

Hmm, what else? I’d like to write more, but – like I’ve said already – my mind is still all over the place right now. Besides, I also still need to revise my first manuscript. The deadline is April 5.

Maybe later, when I calm down a little…


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