Alone

Ever had that feeling where all you want to do is be alone? Not because you have nothing to do or because you are angry at your family. Just because you want to be alone, because you like being alone.

Every day of my life I’m reminded that wanting to be alone is wrong, that not being like everyone else is wrong. But is it really?

You know what the worst part is? The people reminding me that being an introvert is being a nobody are the ones who are supposed to know me the best , my family. 

It’s hard to explain to them and to the world the difference between being lonely and being alone. 

Being lonely is that kind of aching that resonates in your chest. That dull, constant feeling that follows you around all day long. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or whom you’re with, it’s impossible to shake that feeling. It’s the feeling that I go through everyday, despite being around so many people. I feel lonely because not a single person in  all the people I spend my day with understands how much I like being alone.

But being alone is a different situation completely. Being alone is a state of being; loneliness is a state of mind.  Being alone is sitting under a tree for an afternoon and reading a book, and enjoying every single minute of it. Being alone is doing things by yourself, for yourself.

Being in introvert isn’t a flaw, it’s my shyness that brings me down.

It seems so easy to write this all down about being an introvert , but every time, somehow , when I gather up the little courage I have,prying  apart my rib cage, releasing all the butterflies hiding inside me, people are too busy swatting them away.

Love,

R

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