Well, here I go again… I am known for starting and not finishing things. Writing, always has been a way for me to declutter my mind, my soul. But, of course, that requires fitting time in TO write. Time… oh cursed time how you are forever my enemy. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I am attempting for the umpteenth time to keep a journal. I am also giving the “let the world see” idea a try. Be kind, I am far from perfect. So, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
I say all this like anyone would actually want to read anything I wrote… lol silly girl. My own husband could care less about my writing, why would perfect strangers? I suppose my rants can be mildly amusing, but somehow lose some of the umph without the voices, movements and facial expressions.
Wow, already lost sight of what I’m doing. So, today has had its ups and downs, relatively normal day, no major upsets, no major fun. However, it had the threat of being quite evil. Oh my… how is that different from any other day…. hmmm, lack of sleep and potential embarrassment, not for me mind you. My husband. He didn’t get much sleep, so you might as well paint him green and call him Hulk. Also, had company over, friend of his from work. Clean cut boy, pretending to be a kicker, who literally did a double take when he saw me. Made me feel weird the rest of the time he was there. Must have been how fat I was. lol couldn’t be my looks, why would I think something positive about myself. So, husband behaved himself, was on edge, but I did good. Got him things he needed, stayed out of his way, was a lovely host. Few issues, nothing major, slight embarrassment for me. Far less painful than the time when he basically told his friend we rarely have sex. Which is a lie.
Kids were decent, not too terrible. Did some painting, some bracelet making, some outside playtime…usual day.
He bought fast food again, we can’t afford it and he’s buying $30 in fast food. I don’t understand how someone can be ok with spending someone else’s money (we depend on others to help us pay our bills, and don’t even qualify for gov’mnt assistance). But lord have mercy that man can blow threw money quicker than blue norther can blow through The Hill Country!
He’s been quite snappy and easily pissed off, luckily he’s pretty much left me alone tonight. Normally, when left alone… normally, HA, the past week, I talk with friends online, one in particular has been extremely uplifting and supportive, haven’t smiled or laughed this much in a long time. Before that, my alone time was spent living in the dark spaces that the light is afraid to go into. So, with the absence my heart is feeling this evening. I decided to do this. We shall see how long I can keep up with it! Wish me luck!