My grandmas death each day is influencing me, like instead of getting use to the fact that shes gone, its the opposite. The pain is always there and leading up to the funeral makes it more difficult. This Sunday the 19th of April, 2015, is my grandmas funeral. I am suppose to read a reading from the Gospel, but I don’t want to. Its not because I’m nervous…maybe a little… but I just feel weird, I’m not sure how to even describe the feeling, its like something bad is going to happen when I’m up there reading. I don’t want to let my mum down by not reading.
I’m finding it hard to sleep at night because, I keep having hallucinations of her. One night I had a panic attack, I was so scared, I wasn’t suppose to be, at least that’s what mum said. She said that maybe my grandma was just coming to visit me and that I should pray for her.
Anyway hopefully it all goes well.
Enjoy the rest of your night guys xx