I am so glad I have learned to deal with shit on my own. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand. I don’t need anyone to help me. I have people there if the need arises but I find that when I have not sought out help and instead listened to myself. Those are the times that I have moved forwards with greater strength and courage.

I tried so hard to be empathic but when I heard the story unfold I was like are you fucking serious? The minor issue went from minor to blown out of proportion. Figure your own shit out. Protect yourself first and foremost. People these days are so willing to back down in a fight or they want someone to save them. Save yourself. Don’t drag everyone in a 20 mile radius into your drama.

Fight for your life. If one constantly wants to play the victim then scenarios will arise that will put you in place to be that person. I learned that once I stood up for myself that I was no longer bothered. Yes. I might have some PTSD and when someone is walking behind me I will be hyper alert. I won’t act like I notice the person walking behind me but I will be listening to your rhythm. That is how I save myself from assault numerous times. I could hear others increase their pace to catch up to me and one time when I turned around there was a stun gun there to greet me. Did I cave? Fuck No. I told the guys to go fuck themselves and I took off running.

I just want to say.. Fight. Fight for your life. Fight for those that you love. Fight to be as free of a person one can be. I do not want to take a passive approach to my life. I fight everyday just to get out of bed. I fight my old habits often. I have found that these days I am slowly breaking the old and recreating someone who is much better. I love me. I wont lie and say I don’t surrender. I view every moment as something to be learned. These days I am surrendering to the higher dimension version of me. I don’t fight her anymore. I know it sounds odd to say I am fighting and surrendering but its a give and receive. So for example. There are days where the old me just wants to stay lying down until I have to go to work and I fight that but other times I surrender to it. Its kinda like I know when I really need to rest and when I don’t. Anyways. I will broach this more later. I must walk and clear my mind.

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