Living Out of Your Memory

I still remember your skin.

The way it felt beneath mine

and how it was always so warm

to the touch. Like my own

personal sun. You always shone

as bright.

 

I still remember your smell.

Like cheap cigarettes and earth.

I use to hate the smell of cigarettes

but somehow you made them smell

like home. I was always able to find

and home in you.

 

I still remember your voice.

How you loved classic rock

and would sing along to every

song on the radio. You were

always off key but to me you

sounded beautiful. I never

wanted or needed to correct you.

 

I still remember your touch.

Your hands were always rough

and dry with palms too wide for

your fingers but they felt like heaven

when you glided them across my

shoulders or through my tangled hair.

 

I still remember yours.

Such a beautiful and natural red that

shone golden in the sunlight and never

wanted to stay out of your eyes. You always

complained about it being greasy or needing

a cut but I always found it to be perfect and

soft. I felt a peace running my hands through

it while you slept on my chest. I felt a peace

when I was with you.

 

I still remember your breath.

It was always deep and heavy and you

would apologize for it but it never once

bothered me. It gave me something to

fall asleep to, like a lullaby.

I always slept better with your

breath on my neck.

 

I still remember how we made love.

Always so full and breathless with a

passion I will never be able to put

into words. You would place butterfly

kisses on every part of me and whisper

I love you. I use to live for those three words.

 

I almost remember how you use to say them.

You would say them constantly so as to

make sure I hadn’t forgotten. When I said

I loved you too you would claim that

I could never love you as much as you

did me. It was a game I could never win,

I didn’t ever want to.

 

There was never a doubt in my mind

that you didn’t love me.

But when you said those words the last

time I couldn’t bring myself to believe you.

 

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