Transformation

I want to be able to transform myself in such a way that I don’t let what other people do guide my emotions. I should be the sole controller of how I feel, not anybody else. When I see people having fun without me, I should not feel left out and not feel like I’m insignificant. I am better than that. I don’t fall for their superficiality and maybe its a good thing that I’m not part of all of that. I feel like I have gotten better at handling these sort of things. Before I used to say “why am I not included in the fun”. Now, even though those thoughts still come to me, I also ask “why do I care so much about people who don’t care about me” and keep hope that I will meet real people in college. Its hard, but I’m getting there. I will fake it till I make it. I will convince myself that I am so happy and in the end, my synthetic happiness will be just as good as natural happiness, even if not better. I am ready to take on the world.

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