What does your collar mean to you?

I have been wearing a collar the majority of my adult life.  Why?  It is who I am, I am His.

Within what we have grown to call “the lifestyle” we often hear the word collar.  Anyone out of their first BDSM related discussion knows there are several different types of collars and that each mean something different, but the true question is what does a collar mean to you.


Collar of Protection

The most basic of call collars is a collar of protection. Under protection the one being protected  should be led, taught, disciplined and as the name alone implies protected.  The person offering a collar of protection does not own you, they have a responsibility to you.  Yes all you Superior Beings I said YOU have a responsibility to that submissive.

If you are a submissive in a collar of protection you have a responsibility to that Dominant as well.  You represent him, his household, in some cases his submissive.

With all that being said lets break this down a little further.  A submissive under a collar of protection should at all times be mindful that she has someone that is willing to put their reputation on the line for her.  She should not be running from place to place lap hopping and jumping in and out of relationships at her whim.  She should be always open to constructive criticism from the Dominant or other submissive in her circle.   She should use this time as a chance to learn and grow knowing she has a set of strong arms to fall into should she falter.  The Dominant in this situation should always be ready to lead, to lead by example and to be readily available to his charge.  She should not be punished by the Dominant but she should expect discipline.  (side note punishment and discipline will be another subject for another day).  Discipline is a valuable tool in any relationship, you cannot grow if you do not have discipline whether it be self discipline or an outside force.  This does not mean you should be subjected to paddling, spanking, caning or any other physical punishment while in the collar of protection.  IF you and the other party involved agree on this that is YOUR personal choice, it is not a given.  I have seen too many times a submissive  is sexually involved and receives physical punishments while in a collar of protection because they are not given the proper leadership or definitions to be allowed to make the choice. It is not the place of a protector to tell a submissive tell her “This is what you will do under my protection and if you won’t do this then I am not going to protect you.” That by definition is prostitution not protection.

*side note* If you find yourself offended by this statement  you may want to stop reading my pages at this point.

If you feel a need to dispute either term please feel free to invest in a dictionary, I would advise you make liberal use of it, there will be more of those comparisons to come!


Collar of Consideration

This collar is self defining.  Consideration, do I want this submissive, do I want this Dominant.  This is a period of time set aside for getting to know each other, look it as dating.  You would not marry someone you met yesterday, you should not take a collar with any less time and what boys and girls…ah yes…CONSIDERATION.

A collar of consideration does not mean this relationship will last the distance.  It means two people see something in each other and they want an exclusive chance to see what may develop.

Under a collar of consideration the parties involved should define what is and is not acceptable they should not let an outside party influence if they should be having sex, scene  or any other number of things that it is assumed most of the time comes with consideration.  This is the high school ring of a D/s relationship, not everyone is ready for all that comes with a relationship during this period of time.  COMMUNICATION during the stage is the key.  This may even be your chance to experiment with things you have not tried in order to know if it needs to be explored further for limit purposes.


Training Collar

Often a collar of consideration and a collar of training are grouped as the same.  Personally a training collar to my relationship means, “Okay we have considered this, we know we want this to move to the next level and it is time for me to explore if i can or cannot perform to his needs”.

There should be no shame in admitting you cannot do everything one specific Superior Being wants you to do.  IF you cannot do this, it is imperative you communicate this, before you agree to become totally committed to a relationship you are not comfortable in.  This is your adjustment phase to possibly a new home, a new job a new situation.  Use it wisely submissive, you do not get the chance to recant later after your initial training period you are expected to step up and serve in the manner you were just taught.

Dominants, don’t take advantage of the submissive.  Don’t put her in a training collar so you can convince her that she owes you anything other than a willingness to learn.  This collar is a direct extension of the consideration collar, this collar that puts consideration into practice.


Permanent Collar

This collar has many different types, I will break these down as I go.

First permanent, this again is self defining.  Permanent means something that is to be in place forever or long term.  A permanent fixture meaning you do not plan to change in this case your Dominant or submissive.

Breaking down the permanent collar

Submissive collar- A submissive often keeps more of her personal space, being and control than slaves.  A submissive often serves her Dominant within a preset structure they have developed through the early stages of the relationship.

Slave collar- Get the dictionary out again, a slave is just that.  You chose to let someone have complete control of your life, they will control every aspect of your being and they get to chose those aspects from this point on. YOU slave made this choice, you do not get to choose later that you changed your mind because 5:00am is just too early to get up and cook your Master breakfast.  You do have human rights, you have the right to approach your Owner and ask politely to discuss this for any number of reasons from the fact it is just too early and you do not want to get up to if you wake that early for him you are unable to function later in the day.  Keep in mind your Owner has the right to say “I am sorry you agreed to do this for me and if you don’t I will no longer require your presence in my life.”

My personal view on a slave collar is until you have been in a submissive relationship with that person for an extended period of time you should not take his slave collar until you are absolutely sure without a shadow of a doubt you can be exactly what he is expecting in a total servant.  Many relationships, my own included develop from submissive to slave.  (This will take us to another topic on a later date as well, the progression of relationships.) This transition for me was the natural progression of our relationship.  As I spent time in his house and under his guidance I grew into becoming his slave.


Play collar

This is a collar that is given for a particular scene or situation in which the parties involved usually determine before hand what is acceptable and this may only be worn during these times.


Velcro collar

We have all heard this term, this is a special term given to those who in the outside world would otherwise be called a whore.  This submissive often wears a different Dominants name several times in a short period of time.  This  submissive may also have more than one collar that is interchangeable at her whim and is easy to identify due to the fact that she often has NO collar in sight when she is on the prowl.

Ivory c/o Sir Fireball

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