As romantic as the idea of 100% power exchange sounds it is unrealistic in most settings to believe this is achievable. Most of us in reality have jobs, some have children and at times we have other obligations that take us out of the home and away from our partner even if for a limited amount of time. Please don’t take this out of context, if you are a slave living under your Master’s control and do not work outside your home the possibility is more likely you can achieve a closer form of 100% than any other.
So how do we know what level of power we should be willing to give up? Several things should factor into this equation, the first and most important consideration is how much access do you truly have to your Superior Being? The more access you have to the one controlling you the more it is possible for the power exchange to take place. Once again we have to live in reality and not the fantasy notion that you can be 100% with someone you do not have 24/7 access to. You have to have permissions to make decisions involving when and what to eat, what to wear, where to go, who to speak to; this list is endless. Even the best laid plans and schedules will occasionally encounter the unexpected hiccup.
I know the value of having internet to keep in touch with our Superior Beings, I spent several years traveling back and forth in a semi-long distance relationship. During this time it was not easy to give even 75% at times. I held a full time job, at times I was a full time student as well as being a full time mother. My Super Hero also held a full time job which often pulled him away from his phone, he had to sleep so at times phone calls were missed due forgetting to take the phone off vibrate at the end of a long day. I most certainly was not able to wait for him to return to his desk to give me permission to take an injured child to the ER, however I was able to leave a voice mail once I had the situation under control and would receive a timely reply. Others may not have this type access to their Partner.
Some are unable to receive answers for days at a time. It is unrealistic of the Superior Being to demand that someone have permission to join a friend for dinner on an invitation that came two hours after you logged off and cannot make contact with that person until after the friend leaves town. If you cannot give approval it is not being Dominant to expect that person to wait for you to exist it is being a foolish and arrogant.
Every relationship should develop and grow, if a submissive is kept inside a box she will not grow. A submissive needs to be able to interact with others in order to maintain social skills you will want her to use when interacting with you. She needs to be allowed to explore the world outside her window in order to bring you a into her life. For her to bring yo into her life, she has to live…enough said.
The most important thing we can do is communicate on the level we have, we have to trust that the other person to make the right choices and allow them to make those choices without fear of rejection or rebuttal. If any one of us is arrogant enough to believe that we should demand 100% when we are giving less than 20% the problem does not fall to the person struggling to give all they can give you. That is an issue you must address within yourself.
Sometimes the situation shifts in a relationship, especially long distance or online relationships are directly influenced by change. Family, work, health all may factor into this type of relationship. There is not shame in admitting something in the dynamics of a relationship has changed. Shame enters when you are expecting the person you have not been completely honest with to remain at the same level of commitment as you pull away. It is unfair to both parties if a relationship is left hanging by a thread in hopes something may change.
All of this being said, I live in a 24/7 M/s relationship and I can honestly say even with all the control given to my Owner I still have moments that I have to be able to step outside the box and take charge of many unexpected situations a day. Being allowed to show him I can step into this role IS submitting to him in more ways than most take time to consider. Being allowed to make a choice to meet a friend for dinner shows him that I can be trusted to maintain the same level of control he would if he were right beside me. Being allowed to make an unplanned visit at the supermarket allows me to make him a special dinner for no reason other than I want to make him smile. Being allowed to attend a local sub group or hold discussions in submissive/slave groups I will learn new things I can introduce into our relationship that will please him. I have a sounding board for personal issues I may be struggling with.
Only you as an individual are able to determine what level of control is right for you to give your Superior Being, only you can choose if you are willing to give. The most important question you can ask yourself is not how much you are willing to give up, ask yourself how much you want to be allowed to give your Superior Being!
Ivory c/o Sir Fireball